Review by Zachary Forbes
September 9th, 2024
These posts are just our opinions of the books we read, and don't yet reflect the decision of our judging team or the progression of the book in the SFINCS competition.
Summary:
Julanda Seacrest, known more casually as Jan, is hustling people on the streets. She uses her powers of water manipulation to trick passersby into betting their coins on a rigged game. A few others work the stand beside her. Until one day, a man shows up to the stand with a blunt confidence. He plays her rigged game, and for some unexplainable reason, she doesn't rig it.
The man makes off with her coins, and the others blame Jan for not taking advantage. She leaves them to return to the Seacrest manor where her Aunt is hosting a gathering of sorts. Her family is actually quite high profile despite her street-level antics. She wanders about the party, clearly unhappy in her position, until she runs into the man from the street again. She confronts him, and realizes there's more going on. In her attempt to escape, she runs into three others, who all appear to have similar control over the waters.
They tell her they can train her, and offer a chance at a life outside the political marriages and trophy appearances. Through mental and blood manipulation, they convince her aunt that Jan has killed herself. No one knows she is really setting off to train on a far away island.
From there, she faces priestesses with varying levels of control over their powers, many much better than her own. But time passes and she hones her own skills, building relationships with other girls along the way. She becomes a welcomed member of the community.
But she soon finds out this temple isn't all it claims to be, and her relationships come to blows with her understanding of the world.
The Good:
The characters' circumstances at the start are laid out very well. Most of these people we will never see again, yet they have very distinct personalities and relationships with Jan. A clear amount of thought was put into this part of the story, which gives it a worthwhile punch when she chooses to leave it behind.
The powers/mental manipulation are done well. I enjoyed the way juxtaposing thoughts would sit beside each other as someone uses their powers on Jan, sometimes without explicitly stating so. If ‘x’ is the thought being planted in Jan’s head, I would say there is not really as much “I was being forced to think x” as there was “x is true” when reading from her perspective, which I appreciate as it properly plants us in her shoes. It also shows trust that the reader will understand what they are shown without being explicitly told.
The passing of time also feels pretty comfortable. It is sometimes difficult, especially in a novella-length story, to space things out over the course of months or years. But Jan spends a lot of time training at the temple, and the time jumps are properly punctuated by little moments where she interacts with other students. A longer novel could've done more of this, but as a novella it doesn't feel too rushed and actually spends some of its short time having characters conversate.
The Bad:
The first gripe I had, as it’s something I probably dwell on more than others, was the fact that this story needed some editorial ironing. Maybe it was due to the draft sent in for competition being an older one. If that's the case, I apologize, but my review of this version remains. There are a few typos that probably should've been cleaned up in a story as short as this one. And while I can appreciate authors playing with their preferred grammatical rules, consistency is key. I noticed, with dialogue rules especially, there was some bouncing between different punctuation used for the same purpose, no matter the tag that followed. Sometimes a period would precede ‘she said’ and sometimes a comma would precede an action tag like 'he smiled'.
Maybe there is a pattern I’m not seeing, but I have to assume this book just needs a good read-through or two to tighten it up.
Lastly, the standalone world-building has some ups and downs. I know this is technically part of a series, and one particular faction towards the end is probably much more familiar to someone who’s read the other books, but that faction didn't quite get as much exposure as I felt it should’ve to really make that ending impactful.
On the contrary, the world building at the very beginning was great. Every party and character was shown to the reader through how Jan experienced them, and I didn't feel like anything was confusing or taking a backseat. It's just the more mystical side towards the end that I think suffered from this being a novella-length story.
Overall:
Bloodwitch is a fun read. I can tell this is a world the author is passionate about and I think many readers would find the characters pretty endearing. The breakneck pace also allows it to be an easy intro to Whitecastle's world.
A round of editing would substantially improve my opinion, but as is, there is still plenty to like.
Three out of five stars.
Be sure to tune in to our Twitter/X @ZachForbesBro for new blog posts about the novellas we read for the SFINCS competition! And click through to our website if you want to see other projects my brother and I have been working on!
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